hey...it's been a long time since i've blogged....a lot have happened in my life.....it is so complicated and i am depressed this few days.....my nightmare came true....it is so hard for me to accept it but i have too rite?? my frens all said that i have to move on even if this kinda stuff happen to me......but it's kinda hard......tp saya akan tetap cuba.....
oke, the story goes like this, it was 31st of July 2010.....i've gathered up all my courage and confessed again to Nazrin...it was so hard for me to do that.....and when i did it, things went wrong......he knew it a long time ago, but he didn't even tell me that he knows, then dy jwb 'klau i tnya pun u xkn bgtaw i kan?'....then i said la 'of course that time i xckp i ske kat u sbb at that time i MMG XSKE pun'...then he mrh2 me......i apologised a lot of time that night....but he still doesn't believe me and he calld me a LIAR and dy ckp saya neyh x abis2 menyusahkn org.....he said that because saya selalu sms izzat and always luahkn my perasaan kat dy......then saya tnya 'slh ke i sms dy? he is my BEST FREN'....then he answered....'yes, slh sbb i susahkn dy'.....nak je saya ckp, 'klau i susahkn izzat, msti dy da lama bgtaw i, xmgkn dy akan biarkan i kcau dy'.....isn't that logic? kan? kan?....haih...then i said 'if u da xnk believe me anymore, eventhough i have told u everything that i know, then this is the last then, if u think that i akan kcau u, aiman or izzat, there's no need to do that bcuz i xkn kcau u guys anymore from now on.....bye.....'.....then he replied 'Bye'....then that is the end....i cried all night......when i sleep, i have nightmares.....i slept at 2am in the morning and woke up again at 4am, b'cuz many thngs happen that night, not just b'cuz i won't tegur Nazrin anymore, there are many things other than that too......the one that knows 'bout it first was Shahril.....he's my best fren, we've been frens since i'm form 2, we are really close, we're like brothers and sisters......thx Shahril~! for being there for me when i'm really2 sad and cheered me up every single time i'm upset.....I LOVE U WEYH~! as a fren i mean.....:)
and until today, Nazrin has never tegur me nor texts me.....eventhough that everyday i see him, unexpectedly, he didn't even looked at me......and this morning, there is a camp that will be held at Sungai Merap, Bangi, Nazrin is not going but his 'best fren', Ila is going, so he went and teman her near the surau......i'm sory, but i heard his conversations with her, but not a lot la, he was talking nicely and so softly with her, do u believe it?! best frens don't really talk like that to each other! last time when i asked him whether he likes her or not, he said that he doesn't like her.....but now, smpai letak kat fb lg yg dy rindu Ila tu and etc.....look who's lying now la! diri sendiri tu penipu lg nk tuduh org lak......Nazrin.....next time, sebelum u tuduh me, siasat la dulu whether wat ur saying is correct or not, ney nak main tuduh jea, yg u believe org yg ntah sesapa ntah tu watpe? next time tnya me, my ownself.....i won't lie to u la....if u don't believe me, u can ask all of my frens, they know every single seconds 'bout us since i first know u, and base on them, i am the worst liar among my frens......please la, if i do anything to hurt ur feelings, i am seriously sorry, from the bottom of my heart, god knows how sincere i am for u.....since we're not frens anymore, i miss u a lot, but what can i do rite? i still have to move on with my life rite......i wish u have good life and as u know, i won't bother u anymore from now on, and for ur information, if u need me, i'll be here waiting for u, just tell me and i'll help u, dun be too ego and for the last time i'll say, I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE DONE TO U AND ALSO IF I HAVE OFFENDED U SOMEHOW.....goodbye Muhammad Nazrin Merican..... :'(
